Before working towards your goals, success or transformation, the first step is to sit down and be truthfully honest with yourself. You have to be brave enough to sit down, look at your behaviors and attitudes, and acknowledge YOUR part in contributing to your problems.
This is the reality of the real world. Stop looking at other people and the external environment or circumstances for your needs. Yes, others can help you and assist you but what they can do is very limited if all you are going to do is start feeling anger or grief and then complaining and blaming. It is not at all that fun to repeat a cycle continuously, all because you are refusing to learn the lesson you know you have to learn.
Do not deny or invalidate your emotions. Sit through them and feel them. When you are settled and calm, make it a habit to reflect and introspect on yourself. How have you contributed to your problems? At some point, you will have to take responsibility to help yourself to boss up, move on or resolve your problems. Stop trying to be what you are not before becoming who you are. Stop trying to nurse others when you are not working through your own issues. Embrace your experience and love it for what it is, for there is knowledge and wisdom in what you have gone through. If you are not there yet, admit it and work towards where you want to be. If you need help, then learn to receive help and ask for it.
Be honest. Be genuinely and sincerely honest with yourself. That is all it takes. Summon your guts and own it!! Stop doubting your intelligence. Stop doubting your sensibility and ability. STOP YOUR FEARS! Start motivating and believing in yourself. Be your own best friend and be there for yourself. Get moving, get going and get learning. Then apply what you have learned and pursue what you want.
You cannot expect to be assisted or to be learning and just heading straight to success without earnestly applying your skills and knowledge and allowing time for yourself to improve and progress at what you do. Wanting things to work out in a short matter of time and expecting everybody else is supposed to be there to console you and make transitions and experiences easy for you is not the way successful people have gone about living their lives.
Be humble. Have the humility and integrity to acknowledge your weaknesses and do something about them. Prove to others that you can continuously be better and you can be a better version of yourself. Learn, listen, apply and get good at it. That is how you rule yourself and conquer your challenges. That is how you win respect. That is how you find yourself. That is true SELF-EMPOWERMENT!!