Our code of ethics in life is very important. We do everything we can to adhere to it even when the odds are against us. We don’t mind putting our nose to the grindstone when we believe that we are working towards something important and meaningful. The power of motivation can endure all kinds of setbacks, inconveniences, and bumps along the way. It is when we start taking in opinions and criticisms that the doubts creep in and we start losing momentum.
Most of the time the beliefs and values of others, fit in with our attitudes and that of the people in our lives. Most of the time we would like people to give us their honest opinion because we think they know what they are doing. Most of the time we would like people to give us positive criticism because they really care about us. Then again, there are also times when they don’t. There are also times when our reputation is being smeared or when we are being humiliated with unkind and untrue accusations. There are also times when these are due to issues of greed, envy, and jealousy involved in the equation. What happens then, when the time comes for us to deal with such people? Do we give up the time and resources that we have spent and everything that we have worked so hard for?
Please know that at times, there is also the need to bear in mind, that what is right for others, is not necessarily right for us. At times, there is also the need to bear in mind, that not everyone wants to see us succeed. At times, there is also the need to give ourselves the power to trust and believe in ourselves. However, at all times, we should always be prepared to take a broad view of our situation, even if it means dealing with issues that we’d rather not deal with. At all times, there is always the need, to be very honest with ourselves even when we are forced to see clearly and admit our own faults. The key is always to be able to come from a place of balance in thoughts, emotions, and actions.
There comes a time when we have to start being our own best friend and seek ways to chip away at the obstacles before us and turn our deaf ears on the people who can and are all out to keep us down and out. There comes a time when we need to know who is worthy of and deserves our time. Not because we want to be mean to people but because we need to be kind to ourselves. There is a big difference between being kind towards others and continuously allowing them to be insensitive, unkind, selfish, and inconsiderate towards us as a person, our feelings, and our aspirations. BE AWARE OF OUR FRIENDS, OUR DREAMS, AND OUR REALITY.
It is our choice to start loving ourselves or continuously allowing others to disregard us. No matter what kind of relationship we are in, reciprocity is required for our mental and emotional well-being. If there is no positivity, reciprocity, and sincerity in the equation, then the connection may not be serving us for our highest good. If it does not serve our highest good, then we are unconsciously and progressively giving away our power and unknowingly choosing to stand at our lowest.
We need to confront our fears before we can be brave. We need to overcome grief before we can be happy. We need to go through the darkness before we can find the light. We need to make mistakes before we can do right. We have to sit with our failures before we can stand in victory.
For those who are victims of ruthless friends and naysayers, stop being and choosing to be a victim. Keep chasing your dreams. Do it! Do it for yourself first and foremost! Do it for the people who never knew you existed. Do it for the people who failed to value you. Do it for the people who never believed in you. Most importantly, do it for the people who want to see you fail.
An empowered woman is an expression of divinity. Divinity symbolizes love, intelligence, kindness, compassion, courage and power.
An empowered woman is a wholesome and extraordinary individual. They are very versatile women from different walks of life, but they all have these ten (10) psychological traits. These are the essential traits that we can all learn to acquire to be empowered women who level up and live our best life.
1. Empowered Women Work on Themselves
Making an effort to regulate our thoughts and emotions is very important. We must take responsibility for nurturing and healing our mental and emotional selves. Almost all of us come from a very wounded or damaged place in our thoughts and emotions. These hurts and wounds could have been childhood or sudden experiences buried into our subconscious because we were not ready or could still not fathom, digest and learn the lessons from the said negative experiences or traumas at specific points in our lives. We therefore live and move around carrying these inner wounds or traumas in the form of mental or emotional baggage.
Baggage exists in all of us. From our ancestors to our grandparents, our parents and ourselves. It will highly likely exist in our children and generations down the line because nobody knows the way to exist and live as a perfect human being in this world. Nobody is and can be perfect.
We are here to grow and be better than yesterday, but we can never be perfect. No matter our upbringing, education or culture, we are all wounded or damaged somehow and making an effort to be aware and realize our weaknesses, wounds or traumas and hurts is essential to our self-growth and character development, no matter how old and at what stage of life we are at. Look for ways towards healing, improvement and growth through professional therapy, spiritual work, learning from others or through self-help. Learning, healing and changing is a constant and ongoing process.
Empowered women have courageous souls. They face their fears, pain, darkness, and shadows like a warrior. They work through their wounds, issues and problems. Empowered women know that they need to deal to heal. A healed soul manifests the authentic self. When we start to authenticate, life is naturally easier to navigate.
2. Empowered Women Are Not People-Pleasers
We are never desperate because we do not need to be liked. Most of all, we are never desperate for men or anyone else for that matter. We are not desperate for boyfriends, acquaintances, friendships, and God knows who else and what!
Empowered women are women with boundaries. As empowered women, we should know our self-worth. We know our value if we take the trouble to learn to live, care for and nurture ourselves. When we do this, we will then know how to treat another and we will also know how we deserve to be treated by another. After all, people who do not love themselves cannot love and be loved by others.
3. Empowered Women Do Not Seek Drama
We do not purposely seek to be in battles, fights or arguments. We avoid jumping to conclusions and raising unnecessary issues with people. We stay away from drama kings, queens or insecure people. This does not mean that we should never be emotional. We cannot avoid life as a person. There may be occasional issues because life can get challenging and complicated. Nothing is perfect. However, we can choose our battles. This may take time depending on the level we are at in the phase of our lives. One very effective way would be to make it a point to take psychological notes and learn from our lessons well. When we learn our lessons well, we can avoid getting involved in dramatic situations or recurring dramas. After all, when we know better, we do better.
4. Empowered Women Have Principles
We always respect ourselves and therefore, we will always respect others. We must set a certain standard for ourselves as empowered women. Thus it is even more vital to work with morals and values. Everyone deserves respect. We do not just respect people for their affluence or status in society. We respect people because we, too, deserve to be respected as human beings and individuals. Knowing this shows that we know all of us are equal regardless of our race, religion or skin color. We will also navigate ourselves confidently with others, no matter their social standing. No one needs to be glorified, but everyone deserves the glory. Having respect for ourselves and others shows that we have class. Please understand that class IS NOT a level representing wealth. This is so outdated and untrue. A wealthy person does not necessarily mean a classy person. Class is how we carry ourselves as human beings with morals and values. It is the way we treat others with kindness, compassion and grace.
5. Empowered Women Do Not Look Down On Others
We do not judge a book by its cover. We do not make assumptions, judge people and look down on them just from the first impression or because they are different.
Even though we value uniqueness and we know the importance of good first impressions, we do not impose such views and expectations on others.
First and foremost, nothing signals more class and elegance than being humble, open-minded and non-judgmental. Just because we have chosen to be more empowered and elegant, that do not mean people with different taste or sense of fashion; different ways of thinking and behaving; are wrong, harmful or should not be looked up to, if not at least, seen as an equal.
Being empowered does not, at any level, mean superiority over others. Assuming that we are better than others signals arrogant and low-class behavior. I do not encourage, condone or support such characters or behaviors. I am personally very disgusted by such backward and self-glorifying behavior. The differences in religions, cultures, races and ways of life taught us the meaning of diversity, boundaries and understanding. This is my genuine and honest experience. Yet these differences also teach us the values of acceptance, tolerance and humanity in being united as the human race.
Be grateful enough to know that before we were the better and empowered version of ourselves, we were all once a “Plain Jane” or “Average Joe” (for men) in our appearance, thinking, living or being. Empowered women know and will never forget where they came from. Just because we chose not to remain where we were, it should not mean that it is a place where others should not choose or want to be. So long as where they are is not a place of darkness and harm, we should not impose our personal experiences, opinions and hopes on others. If, indeed, they are at a negative place in their lives, people who refuse to listen are meant to learn their own lessons.
6. Empowered Women Appreciates Elegance and Class
We know and can enjoy the finer things in life without being obsessed with them. Luxury does not control our lives and neither are we attached nor addicted to it. However, women who enjoy the finer things in life tend to be stereotyped or misunderstood as materialistic or gold diggers. I think that this is not true. I have met people of high caliber and wealth and still demonstrate humility and moderation in their lifestyle.
Empowered women do not let luxury rule their lives. They do not let luxury define their identities, characters and self-worth. They know that true beauty and worth come from the inside. Inside meaning what is coming from their hearts: their morals, values and personalities. It is also the inner work done almost throughout their lives and the self-esteem and confidence they have built due to their journeys towards self-discovery.
7. Empowered Women Communicate Clearly.
We know that communication and refined speech is essential. We understand what topics are appropriate to talk about generally with others. However, clear communication prevents dramas, fights, misunderstandings and problems. This puts us in a position of taking ownership of ourselves because none of us are perfect and without flaws. We all come with our own sets of histories, inner child wounds, perceptions and so on. Unfortunately, many people neglect their issues and problems. They tend to assume that they are normal and acceptable in their perceptions and behaviors or do not want to take ownership of themselves and their issues because taking responsibility for owning oneself is a painful, tedious and time-consuming process.
However, as empowered women, we have no qualms about working on ourselves. We like to be reflective and introspective of our way of thinking, feeling and our behaviors. We want to reflect and ponder on our negative habits or the feedback we receive from others and always work towards self-improvement and problem solving because we know the value of self-care, self-nurturing and self-love. We also see the importance of appreciating, caring and loving the people around us. We know that when we speak honestly and communicate clearly, we are positively reciprocating and helping ourselves and others be heard in a non-judgmental way. We listen with compassion and we do not jump to conclusions. We always keep our minds open. These practices are very self-empowering and mind strengthening and should be mastered by all, men and women alike.
8. Empowered Women Celebrate Their Authenticity and Individuality
We are not interested in becoming someone we are not and we value genuine positivity. We are only interested in removing all the thinking, behaviors and habits that are primarily holding us back and hindering our best potentials, especially those I have listed in the preceding points listed above.
It is always about becoming a better version of ourselves than before, discovering and developing the divine, refined and authentic understanding of ourselves. We celebrate our uniqueness and our originality. When I say authenticity, it means the divine nature that exists in all of us, which can manifest and surface from within us in a very positive way and yet vary from one individual to another due to the different upbringing, personal histories and life experiences that each of us may have been subjected to or had to go through on top of the unique sets of natural skills or inner gifts and creativities that every one of us possesses.
So thinking that our uniqueness is about using our natural skills in an abusive, hostile and self-limiting way when it harms others or ourselves is not self-loving, unique or authentic. This forces us to put on masks and burden our souls with self-destructive and abusive personalities and behaviors.
Being aware of what is right and wrong and constantly being self-conscious and self-aware is of utmost importance in discovering our empowered and authentic divine selves.
9. Empowered Women Always Give Back
What we get is from what we give out. When we give out, we will get back. It may not be in the same shape or form and from the same person or stranger but get back we will. That is how energy and the Universe works. God is always aware and looking at what we do.
We can give in the form of money or volunteering once per month to a charity or community. We can do this even more than once if we have the means to. We can also give or help out in any other forms that might benefit anyone. We may even be philanthropists or active in organizations that assist or benefit other communities or societies. We can give back to others and the world in so many ways.
However, in general, empowered women make it their responsibility to give back, no matter their financial standings or where they are at in life. It does not have to be made known or announced in any way as to what, to whom, and how or how much we contribute. The most important thing is giving back and making a positive difference.
The more discreet we are, the higher our energetic frequency will be. However, it should be understood that not all charitable work will or can be done discreetly. Especially when the public is somehow involved or when the person giving back is someone of a well-known status like a celebrity, a leader or a politician, leading by example is essential to promote a community or society with high compassion, morals and values.
The point here is to make an effort to be discreet in our charity work if we want to raise or level up the vibration of our energetic frequency. The higher we vibrate, the easier our true self can authenticate. So apply discretion whenever we are giving back in charity or to any community.
10. Empowered Women Are Never Jealous
Being empowered means knowing that there is no need to be jealous of anyone else. Know that blessings are from God, the Divine and therefore, no one can take our blessings from us. If you know how powerful God is and how He makes the Universe works its ways around us to make sure that things work out to our benefit and advantages, we will live throughout our days being secure and content with whoever and whatever we have in our lives. Good or bad, have faith that things will work out in our favor and for the best through challenging us, strengthening us and growing us.
Nobody will seem to be jealous of us in the beginning stages of leveling up. But then, the more we level up, the better our lives become, the more jealousy others will have towards us simply because they do not see or understand their own power.
This is, unfortunately, part of life. It is unavoidable. The worst of all is when you have to face female jealousy. The spite, sarcasm, hypocrisy, and manipulation that women will do to make sure another person will not be better than them or get what is better than what they have got is unbelievable.
While men tend to be a little more competitive, aggressive and assertive when they’re jealous, women are more subtle. They like to use psychological tactics which are mean and by being passive-aggressive. They resort to bullying or using and changing different tactics whenever they succumb to jealousy and the need to satisfy those feelings arises. Sometimes, it even shows clearly to others around them whether they realize it or not.
There are two types of jealousy: positive jealousy or envy and harmful jealousy or envy.
Let’s say you bought a handbag that may be just the standard brand handbag or the cheaper range handbag. It is still usable and durable, but it is too ordinary and you don’t like it because it is not that classy to your taste, but that is the only handbag you can afford. Then, your best friend comes in with this beautiful “LV” or “YSL” handbag or something to that effect.
However, because you have positive jealousy, you would be looking at her and feel motivated to work more jobs or being stingy with your money by cutting down on your expenses to save more and ultimately afford an “LV” or “YSL” or perhaps even a higher-priced handbag of the same brand. That is positive jealousy.
Harmful jealousy is the jealousy borne by the malicious one. The one who would look at her friend with that “LV” or “YSL” handbag and go behind her back and malign her by saying that she got it through an affair with a sugar daddy, or that she was a rich man’s mistress or even worse, that it is not hers as she stole it off someone.
Empowered women do not behave maliciously. We may have positive jealousy, but we do not have malice. When we are happy for another, we are genuinely and sincerely happy for them. We should be conscious and aware of ourselves when the envy we are feeling starts to feel uncomfortable and hostile so that we can control ourselves by tapping into our inner light and snapping out of the shadows.
Before working towards your goals, success or transformation, the first step is to sit down and be truthfully honest with yourself. You have to be brave enough to sit down, look at your behaviors and attitudes, and acknowledge YOUR part in contributing to your problems.
This is the reality of the real world. Stop looking at other people and the external environment or circumstances for your needs. Yes, others can help you and assist you but what they can do is very limited if all you are going to do is start feeling anger or grief and then complaining and blaming. It is not at all that fun to repeat a cycle continuously, all because you are refusing to learn the lesson you know you have to learn.
Do not deny or invalidate your emotions. Sit through them and feel them. When you are settled and calm, make it a habit to reflect and introspect on yourself. How have you contributed to your problems? At some point, you will have to take responsibility to help yourself to boss up, move on or resolve your problems. Stop trying to be what you are not before becoming who you are. Stop trying to nurse others when you are not working through your own issues. Embrace your experience and love it for what it is, for there is knowledge and wisdom in what you have gone through. If you are not there yet, admit it and work towards where you want to be. If you need help, then learn to receive help and ask for it.
Be honest. Be genuinely and sincerely honest with yourself. That is all it takes. Summon your guts and own it!! Stop doubting your intelligence. Stop doubting your sensibility and ability. STOP YOUR FEARS! Start motivating and believing in yourself. Be your own best friend and be there for yourself. Get moving, get going and get learning. Then apply what you have learned and pursue what you want.
You cannot expect to be assisted or to be learning and just heading straight to success without earnestly applying your skills and knowledge and allowing time for yourself to improve and progress at what you do. Wanting things to work out in a short matter of time and expecting everybody else is supposed to be there to console you and make transitions and experiences easy for you is not the way successful people have gone about living their lives.
Be humble. Have the humility and integrity to acknowledge your weaknesses and do something about them. Prove to others that you can continuously be better and you can be a better version of yourself. Learn, listen, apply and get good at it. That is how you rule yourself and conquer your challenges. That is how you win respect. That is how you find yourself. That is true SELF-EMPOWERMENT!!
When we are healed or free from mental and emotional wounds, we are usually able to maintain our peace and be at ease. We will only focus on the present in the way our lives unfold and presented themselves to us and behave or respond in ways that are required of us at a particular given moment. Worry, anger or any other emotional reaction comes only when the circumstances right before us dictate us to think, feel and behave like such.
However, some, if not most of us, are never quite in our calm and serene state when we observe the way we choose to respond to the people and events surrounding us. At times, we tend to wildly and unreasonably worry, get angry and be more anxious than we should rather than being objective and focusing more on the facts presented before us.
2. Repetitive Emotional and Behavioral Patterns.
Indeed, it is difficult when we are beings programmed to react and behave in the way our past has happened to us. We tend to emulate the emotions we felt from the past because most of us were victims of unprecedented and painful experiences. However, we must understand that our subconscious minds respond in this way to make us gain wisdom or learn lessons from our experiences through our traumas. In turn, it teaches and shows us how to navigate our paths and our lives in the future.
Unfortunately, instead of storing the wisdom and lessons we accumulate in our lives, we ended up repeating the panic, the grief, the lack of attention, the invalidation, the anger and the unhelpful behavioral patterns which initiated us to remember our triggers. Meaning, situations in the present, incite us to respond in the way we choose to react to a forgotten past of which the wisdom or lessons from it, we are still not able to perceive or comprehend.
3. Assuming and Blaming
A few of these examples are; a situation that is not in actuality troubling will cause us to lose all objectivity and convince us into thinking that our fears have materialized and it is the end-all or be-all to our existence. A person’s response or demeanor will immediately elicit feelings of guilt, extreme fury or unreasonable suspicions. The thought of putting our best foot forward and giving our best to achieve success provokes the terror of possible monumental failure.
The triggers are almost immediate that we do not get to sit and reflect on the way we process the circumstances arising from the situations and people we connect with. We totally give up our power of evaluating and introspecting our reactions. We lose all bearings to differentiate the happenings of the past from the present and of our childhood to maturity. We start blaming everything and everyone else as the cause of our mental and emotional triggers and insecurities except ourselves. We are closed off to our rational faculties and we continue caging ourselves up in the dungeons of our traumatized sub-conscious minds.
4. Irrational Reaction and Response
When we are not linking or connecting with reality objectively, we are easily triggered. We tend to approach life of the external world from the spectrum of our subconscious or inner world. Our sub-conscious is indeed the safest place where we store all expectations we have formed and the lessons we learned from our experiences; the wisdom we accumulate through our individual histories; our authentic modality of working, our creative inspirations, our ideals of what a peaceful world is, how other people are like, how they respond to us and how situations unfold in tough and challenging times.
We always forget that our subconscious is not what is always factually happening on the outside world or our consciousness. We have the tendency of generalizing and judging people and situations based on past events which were actually harder, more rare or even more serious than what is actually happening in the present due to our traumas or experiences. It is always good to practice a rule of thumb to alert us to the imbalance in our responses. If we experience fear or anxiety above the scale of five out of ten, it is telling us that highly likely, our reaction or response is not fuelled by the issue or person in the present, but by a past, that we are either not acknowledging, not aware of or have been overlooking. Meaning, most of the time, the issue is with what we felt or what happened in the past and not what is factually happening in the present.
5. Inability or Refusal to Reflect and Evaluate
Allowing and prolonging triggering factors to overpower and consume us can take a heavy toll on our mental health, relationships and social connections. The most effective self-help to free us from being triggered is to train ourselves to disregard or not believing the feeling that is rapidly and repetitively overwhelming us. Always make it a habit to evaluate if what is occupying our mind is caused by a fact or objectivity; or by a feeling, which only stems from a thought based on fear or worry. Adopt the practice of re-examining and evaluating our instinct or impulses. Think about what we can tell ourselves and what positive actions we can take so that we do not let fear or worry overcome our rationality and ability. Are we able to help ourselves by doing this on our own or do we need assistance from professional psychologists or practicing therapists? This is not to deny that circumstances and people of the external world are capable of causing us harm but rather for us to recognize and realize that as an adult, our reaction or responses may be and can usually be disproportionate or a miscalculation of opportunities or our resourcefulness, strength, resilience, skills and wisdom.
Healing and maturity are understanding the source and cause of our triggers and taking the responsible steps of mitigating our self-limiting, self-doubting and self-destructing reactions, responses and behaviors. We are fully thinking, strong and capable adults who can, in reality, thrive and survive. We have enough courage to face our triggers and deal with them through calm reflection, evaluation or rehabilitation. The point is we are powerful within and we can overcome our triggers.
If you are not willing to be the first person who believes in you, then who will? When there is no self-confidence, you can cause a lot of harm in your own life. Learning to take small steps to work towards this effectively will allow you to take more steps calmly and consciously when life demands.
Below are simple, self-reliant steps you can take to maintain your confidence to progress and reach your potential and live your best version in life.
1. When you are called to, be brave and take that leap.
Do not hesitate to put yourself out there and let life touch or teach you. Be curious and creative; enjoy learning and living; explore and experience. Take risks, make decisions or mistakes and own them.
There is no denying that life hurts sometimes. A big no-no is to let the fear of making a wrong decision prevent you from making any decisions at all. Just make your best efforts and do the right thing even if you are unsure what is correct. Life is living, experiencing and learning. So live, laugh and love.
There are too many possibilities to consider and unique places to go in these modern times compared to what our ancestors enjoyed in the past. Even then, people of the past were constantly discovering and growing. Creating or selling your range of products and services, building your clientele and networking for collaboration is no longer as big a challenge as it used to be.
Why are you then only wondering and dreaming? Get out there and find your new adventure! Let life decide where to take you and cherish every little bit of every moment of your experience.
2. Stop seeking approval from everyone
You don’t have to take an interest in pleasing everyone you meet. Not everyone will agree with you all the time. Have the courage to make your own decisions and do what is right for you as long as you do not compromise the benefits of others or cause anyone any harm.
Never let the opinions of other people define who you are. You are the best judge of your personality, ability and capabilities. Take the responsibility of owning yourself and reflect honestly on who you are and what you can or cannot do. If there is a need to get an opinion or advice, seek it from those who believe in you and genuinely care for you. Alternatively, you can also seek those who are honest, knowledgeable and well-versed in the relevant issue or topic of discussion.
When you make an effort to take the proper course of action, you will do what you want to do with confidence. Be assured that you have made an effort to give thorough consideration to your options and made informed choices. Have faith in the choices you make from your own best judgment. Trust that those who matter to you and those whom you trust are with you.
3. Stop insisting that you are always right.
When you make or take a stand, do it because you are coming from a place of your truth and that you are not afraid to be wrong. Never make or take a stand because you need to or have to be right.
Insisting that other people should know or admit that you are right (despite you being wrong), is the act of coming from a place of ego or even being narcissistic. In all honesty, such behavior demonstrates bullies who want to control people’s opinions of them.
When you know what is right, you will be mentally and emotionally conscious of seeing that it is of utmost importance to find out the truth of what is right rather than being right.
If you ultimately realize that you are wrong, you will be secure within yourself to humbly back down and be gracious in admitting your mistake or wrongful conduct. Keep yourself grounded in reality and be gracious enough to acknowledge and appreciate the lessons you learned from your wrong choices and mistakes.
4. Do not confuse the definition of success and failure.
Never allow failure to hinder you; never let your success access your head even though the difference between success and failure is indeed remarkable. However, you need to practice looking at the bigger picture and understand the depth beneath the surface of these two common words.
Understanding these two words determines the moral standards, principles, and values you instill in yourself and the people who seek to follow you in life. If you are arrogant because you are successful, you indeed are within the category of those who failed. However, if you continue to persevere with integrity while becoming more grateful, determined and strong, you are indeed a winner. All who develop and evolve through overcoming or conquering challenges are successful, hands down.
Never take everything that goes wrong personally and never internalize the negativity from external sources. However, do not also get big-headed when things are in your favor. In truth, life is always about personal growth and self-discovery. It is about you continuously becoming the better and best version of yourself. While it is necessary to have money, strive towards financial security, and leave a legacy for those we love, true and ultimate success is never entirely about wealth or fame.
5. Avoid needless or unnecessary drama.
Direct your energy toward positive ideas and possibilities and spend each day focusing on achieving your personal goals. Learn to be amused more than you are at being annoyed. Learn to be curious more than you are at being angry. Learn to admire more than you are at being envious.
You may have heard of or come across people who love to stir up drama for no valid or apparent reason. Take note of such people and situations. Never, ever get yourself involved in it. It is always best to stay out of other people’s drama unless compassion is pertinent in cases where assistance or intervention is needed due to anticipation of potential harm or danger. Always be conscious and reflective of your behavior and the people around you. Observe the circumstances in your environment so that you do not end up creating or getting caught in drama at any cost.
Be grateful and appreciate the value of those you love and those who matter. Turn your back on any drama you may potentially create through your lack of self-awareness or through others.
6. Explain and clarify when necessary.
There is a need to raise our voices before we can get attention in order to address issues or problems. So if you have sleepless nights due to being misunderstood or ongoing trauma, give yourself enough love by expressing or explaining what is important for you. Do this not because you need people on your side or you need people to sympathize with you. Do it because you deserve the right to stand up and speak up for yourself, and even more importantly, is that you deserve peace mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
However, talking excessively and constantly is a different thing altogether. It is a habit of those who mask insecurities and seek validation from people externally. A positive way of expressing your insecurities and grievances can be journaled or expressed through creative writing like poetry, essays etc. Confident people are usually silent and thoughtful. They listen as much, if not more than they speak.
When you are confident, you already know what you think, but you also have a curious mind to know what others think. You don’t talk all the time, but you ask people questions because you already know what you know. However, you also know that you do not know everything, and the only way to learn more is to listen even more.
7. Stop feeling attacked.
Do not engage in the mentality of thinking that everything is about you and other people are always out to get you. Many people feel they have to wait until they are good enough to be hired or chosen. Such thinking, however, is not valid. Confident people know that they can and will do anything they set their minds to, especially in the current digital age where information, knowledge, and resources are always accessible and available online. How will you know where you are headed if you do not make that first step?
Stop asking yourself, “Why me?” and start asking, “Why not me?”. If you are confident and positively inclined, you will see the door of opportunity right in front of you to further your knowledge and develop your skills. Perhaps even advancement in your career path, or spiritual enlightenment of your mind, body and soul.
What is an Empath? An Empath is a person who experience a great deal of empathy. Psychologists coined this term to describe “highly sensitive individuals” who can easily sense and feel what others are thinking. I am one of them.
I was thinking of writing an article to describe an Empath. Then I remembered that I had kept the text of an article that I came across several years back after discovering that I was one. I started researching for information to understand myself even more. This article is so right on point in describing the nature of an Empath. After reading, I realized that I do not need to understand more about myself. I already know it because I have been living it. I am an Empath. Thus, there is no need for me to write further about what people need to understand about empaths. The article below is, in my opinion, everything there is to know about it. Thank you, Alex, for this excellent definition of an Empath (the highly empathetic person).
Empaths are unique personality types; their sensory levels are always on high alert, incredibly intuitive, and their awareness and sensitivity to the energy levels that vibrate around them are extremely high. If an empath strongly senses something, they are not often wrong. If they think someone’s lying or that something is just “not right,” you can bet your last dollar that there is something wrong. Therefore, a basic understanding of this mystical and quite magical being is highly beneficial.
Empaths have quite a few little quirks, traits and characteristics that are worth knowing about and gaining a better understanding of so that any relationship formed have a strong survival chance and so that it thrives. Empaths can be deeply misunderstood. It can take a little time to get to know them before they fully unravel and until their true magnificent spirit receives the opportunity to shine.
Love with an empath will be intense as they are energetically sensitive; therefore, they will pick up on everything and anything that is happening around them. Regardless of whether emotions have been outwardly expressed, empaths will experience their partner’s emotions as deeply as they feel their own. It is impossible to try to hide true feelings when romantically involved with an empath as they will likely have figured them out long before the person feeling them has. Empaths are highly intuitive yet sometimes fail to trust their inner voice as too many people have previously wrongly convinced them that their gut feelings were wrong.
Being a little naïve and trusting at times, the empath has doubted themselves and pushed aside their intuition, causing them to lose faith in the power they hold within that alerts them to any perceived signs of danger. That being said, the little nagging voice in the empath’s head will not subside until the reality and truth have been fully uncovered. Empaths like truth. However hard the truth is to handle, they would rather be told things straight than told a lie, even if it is a white one. Although the truth isn’t always pretty, it is much nicer than spending days and nights trying to make sense of all the complicated energies and subliminal messaging systems that are going on. If there’s one thing that empaths are amazing at, it is dealing with a brutally raw and honest relationship. Although they can be rather delicate creatures on some levels, their strength in relationships is found where honesty, trust and loyalty come before anything else.
Empaths can be perceived as having hearts that are caged in. Although, this is only true when they have been deceived so many times they feel that their only option is protection. The true spirit of an empath wants to give and receive love in abundance, though they are only able to do this when they feel safe and secure that they are in a safe place to open the door and allow the love to flow. One of the most tragic parts about the empath’s character is that, all too often, the love is cast out in all the wrong places. Empaths feel the pain and sorrow of the whole world and feel that they want to heal and fix the world up and make things better for all concerned. This can be an amazingly powerful thing, and this energy is exactly what the world needs. However, this can also be a deeply painful way to exist.
Not everyone sees the world the way an empath views it, and because of this, an empath’s heart will be broken constantly, and they will bleed endlessly for cruelty, injustice and inequalities. There will be many who will want to take the love, affection and the empath’s good nature with no care for giving any return. Whilst this can teach an empath a lot about unconditional love and also an immense amount about self-preservation, it is also a deeply painful learning process. An empath will fail to understand why others do not give out care, consideration and affection freely and why other people can so easily turn a blind eye to heartbreak and suffering when healing is what is required. Others may ridicule and belittle the empath’s desire to reach out and make a difference, and this serves to add salt to their wounds.
When an empath feels hurt, what they need most is loving support and understanding so that they know they are not alone in wanting to use some of their powerful energy to heal and make changes in the world; if they receive this from a partner, a bond for life will very likely form. Empaths will fall into the hands of those who want to take advantage of their somewhat naïve and caring nature. Again, this is another sharp lesson and one that can cause an empath to develop a sense of mistrust and what leads to protecting their emotions with barriers and brick walls. It can also lead an empath to feelings of unworthiness and also low-self esteem, as once they have depleted their energy reserves to such a low level by giving and not understanding how to protect themselves in the process, they can end up with a broken heart and with very little faith in mankind. It is not in an empaths nature to take; they only know how to give, so to ensure the relationship is one of balance and is also harmonious, ensure the empath is shown love in the form of actions so that the circle of love flows freely. Words will mean little to an empath unless they are followed through. Their intuition will quickly pick up on something done with poor intent, or if a person’s words are inauthentic.
To love an empath means recognizing that they thrive when the flames are turned up, not down. An empath gives off a powerful and energetic fuel of love, light and radiance, though the fire only fully rages when an empath exists in a sacred place within which they feel secure enough to glow. Empaths are soft, delicate and immensely vulnerable creatures on the inside, although, once burnt, on the outside, they can appear incredibly strong. Once bitten, twice shy where an empath is concerned, they find it very difficult to forget deep wounds and continue a relationship once foundations are rocked. The best way to fully connect with an empath is by creating a safe and solid platform to build a future upon. If cracks appear through mistrust and deceit, it can become immensely difficult to repair them. Empaths thrive on trust, loyalty and dependability. Show them these things and the relationship will be very difficult to break.
As empaths are highly passionate people, they will often find a strong connection to a hobby or interest that others will find impossible to penetrate. Due to their creative side, they may find a resonance with music, dance, writing, art, activism, reading, Yoga, meditation, humanitarian causes or other similar interests. Whatever it is that has captured the mind of an empath will become sacred in their hearts. Empaths will immerse themselves in their hobbies and lose themselves completely, and sometimes this can feel as though their interests are the only things that matter to them. Although they will have a deep attachment to their passions, it is far easier to understand that an empath loves all things at great intensity levels. They need outside interests to survive and feel alive; this can sometimes be difficult for others to understand. Space, plenty of space, and freedom to explore and submerge in their chosen activity is the easiest way to deal with this. Asking an empath to choose may not give the desired outcome that would be hoped for. The heart quickly gets connected to passionate interests, and once that connection has been made, the heart will break if it has to be severed.
Respect and understanding for another’s alone time can make or break a relationship with an empath. An empath will not want or expect anyone else to dive as deeply into their interests as they do; however, an understanding that their interests are significantly important can really make life a whole lot easier. There is no need to feel ostracized or unwelcome; while there’s a little chance an empath will let you fully in to their special interest, it is far more likely they will gain more pleasure when they are wrapped up in it by themselves. This is not selfish or inconsiderate; it is just simply how the empath’s heart and spirit operate. If they have a connection to something, it is intense, and they will very likely wish to delve as deeply into it as is possible. Passions are a great energy release, and empaths will possibly feel as though they zone out while immersed, and they will very likely lose all track of time. Allow them to take pleasure in it, and with the free time this has created, take up interests separately rather than allowing resentment or frustration to build. It possibly won’t last for too long, as empaths are known to move quickly from one interest to another once the initial burning desire of connection eventually simmers down.
As empaths are sensitive to energy, their worst-case scenarios are confrontations and aggressive situations. Although they are one of the least violent and aggressive characters under normal circumstances, they can very easily lose their self-control if they become absorbed in the negative and toxic energy surrounding them. Empaths are fight or flight characters who, more often than not, will prefer to take flight and remove themselves from the weight that the energy is bearing down on them. If situations like this occur regularly, it can eventually lead empaths to become introverted and homebodies as they prefer the safety of their own environment where they are not subjected to the rise and fall of other people’s energies. After attending any kind of social situation, they will need downtime to recharge and to balance out their own energy fields.
Places such as supermarkets, nightclubs, the cinema, or anywhere with a large crowd of people will be very draining for an empath. They are very sensitive to light and sound, so these things can also have a detrimental and draining effect on an empath’s psyche. After attending any social function, an empath may feel completely drained. The effects can be temporarily debilitating, meaning that all an empath will want to do is sleep or rest, possibly alone, until the absorbing effects of the occasion have worn off. All in all, it will take a very secure, confident and balanced person to form a solid, mutually beneficial and rewarding relationship with an empath. The empath personality type is a unique and extremely enchanting gift to the world. As long as their wings are not clipped, and they have the freedom and space to fly, it has the opportunity to be a deeply rewarding, incredibly loving and spiritually awakening relationship for both involved.
A connection with an empath can be a blessing and one of the greatest gifts from the universe as it offers the opportunity to look at the world through the lens of a kaleidoscope. Everything that may have once seemed normal for a relationship will be turned upside down as a new understanding and perspective are learned, and the unconscious mind is preened open. At times it may feel like being in the company of a magically gifted being with special powers that we have been led not to believe existing within humans. It can be both a blessing and a curse. Nothing will get past an empath as they see, feel and connect with everything at all times.
The one thing I would strongly recommend is to peel back all the layers that society labels as “norms,” “standards” and “expectations.” We are then free to discover a brand new way of existing; giving and receiving unconditional love, being fully alive in the moment, connecting deep within the core of our primal being and reigniting all the inherent superpowers within man. A relationship with an empath can lead to uncovering unique gifts such as intuition, energy awareness, deep connection and a brand new level of understanding the fellow man without the need for speech. All the things the modern world has tried, for far too long, to convince us we should deny.
For workers to care for their mental health, we must take steps towards Self-Love & Self-Care. Understand that we will not be able to love and care for those who matter if we cannot care for ourselves. Therefore steps towards maintaining ourselves at our best are essential and even more crucial at present, as I will list below.
1) Acceptance Life is full of pitfalls and challenges, and therefore we must be realistic and brace ourselves to accept that situations and circumstances are not always within our control. Accept the fact mentally, emotionally, and physically that we cannot foresee what is ahead at certain times. Accepting this will allow our subconscious to acknowledge that sometimes what we can do may be limited despite our best efforts. Be content that we have committed and have given and done our best in all that we do so that we will not have to look back with regrets. At times, the best that we can do is take one step at a time and go with the flow. Resist controlling what we cannot and trust the process.
2) Be Efficient and Productive Obtain complete instructions and detailed information before embarking on an assignment to prevent the inconvenience of re-producing or doing unnecessary additional tasks, which are counter-productive, time-wasting and stress-inducing. Offer assistance to colleagues who need help and always be receptive and cooperative when working as a team.
3) Boundaries Always be conscious and aware of the extent of our abilities. Recognizing and knowing when we can no longer proceed to take on more responsibilities and duties is crucial. It is better to know that we have reached our capacity limit to produce quality work than to try to impress or please others resulting in a less than satisfactory one which will only undermine our position, esteem and morale. Knowing when to say “NO” and “ENOUGH” is very necessary.
4) Ask for Help Be humble enough to ask for help when we need support, whether at work or in our matters. Be aware that we cannot always do everything on our own. Practice humility of knowing that, at times, we do not know everything, and we need others to assist and lighten our burdens. Accepting and receiving help can ease the stress and tension in our being and keep us grounded in reality. There are various free and paid resources or organizations that can render specialized assistance we might need. Alternatively, get in touch with family, relatives or friends who can assist. There is always someone who can help and advise. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE, and THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT TO ALL PROBLEMS.
4) Complete and Enough Rest In a pandemic situation, almost all of us, especially frontline workers, may have to work staggered hours or work from home. The impact of this can throw us off balance, and to get to stay home during such times is not helping us maintain sanity. Try our best to finish off what we need to get done within working hours so that we do not stay late in the office. Get home on time to spend quality time with our family and have ample rest. When working from home, we should endeavor to strictly adhere to working times and avoid work after hours bearing in mind the convenience of having work or the office within the home environment. Ensure that we give our mind, body and soul complete nutrition and take enough rest to start a new day with focus and quality.
5) Make Time for Your Favourite Pastime While work is about taking responsibility for the tasks we have in hand despite how we feel about them, making time for our pastimes on our rest days is an even more significant challenge. Activities that we enjoy doing divert our focus and attention from the mundane. Some examples would be volunteering or doing charity work, watching movies, listening to our favorite music or songs, reading or even working out physically to relax and make us feel good and happy. Healthy, positive and enjoyable activities provide emotional fulfillment and refill us spiritually. When we are not emotionally depleted, we will be more motivated to handle challenges calmly and confidently. We will be more at peace and not easily triggered by situations or people. Not being emotionally fulfilled easily triggers feelings of frustrations, despair, anger and lack from within.
6) You Matter Know that we matter, and our feelings are always valid. Do not deny or invalidate our thoughts, emotions, and problems because we want to make things easy or comfortable. Be honest about our issues. We are all not the same, and we are all not subjected to the same upbringing, education and life experiences. Knowing this allows us to embrace the uniqueness of our identity, individuality and authenticity. Get in touch with trusted friends, colleagues or workplace personnel to discuss or talk about our problems. Suppression happens when there is no expression, and when we suppress, we store unwanted or harmful energy into our beings. Face our problems and deal with them. Find healthy channels to express our opinions and emotions positively. One way would be to release or communicate through confiding in a friend or a person we can trust for moral support, or expressing creatively through journaling, writing, or art projects like drawing or painting, thus enhancing our creativity and spirituality.
7) People Who Matter Keep in touch with those who matter to us. Being in touch enhances bonds and connectivity that ensure moral support both mentally and emotionally. When we form and bond relations, we know that we are not alone, especially during times when most of us are in so much need of genuine and trusted support to maintain our peace and sanity. Connecting keeps us updated about those who are important to us and allows us the opportunity to render assistance or any means of support in their times of need and vice versa. Keeping our sense of empathy and consideration for others in check is vital if we want to be spiritually healthy. Be the kind of person that we want others to be for us. Especially in struggling times, we need to be approachable, kind and compassionate to others and ourselves. What goes around comes around, and we will always get back what we give out, if not even more. Always observe and be conscious of those who may need our help but may be too shy or embarrassed to ask. Maintain our sense of equilibrium and be aware of the need to show kindness, care, and compassion to ourselves too.
8) Be positive and Have Faith There will be times when we need to accept changes and adapt to new conditions. We will be required to move out of our comfort zones and do the very things we fear to do. When we cannot walk the path ahead by sight, walk it by faith. Explore relevant resources and be objective in making our choices. Be honest and sincere and make decisions with integrity. Be positive, believe in ourselves and believe that there is a higher power in the Universe that is working behind the scenes and making things happen for us despite however things may seem. There is always a blessing behind every adversity and a silver lining behind every dark cloud. We will embrace opportunities, overcome challenges ahead and reap the fruits of our labor for as long as we keep doing what is right. Then, the only thing left for us to do is NEVER TO GIVE UP!
As we may all have already known, human beings are capable of programming software, digitals, and electronics. Now, imagine when we start re-programming ourselves the way we would want to program our very own set of advanced functioning software. Except, of course, we function way better because we are gifted with senses.
None of us is born with a standard operating procedure, user guide or operating manual on the right way to navigate through our lives. If we could recall, when we were toddlers, we had not anticipated hurdles, difficulties, dangers or troubles in the environment, situations or people around us. We depended on our parents and others who are older to foresee or anticipate the good or the bad according to how they sensed or perceived the environment, situations or people around them and us.
Ultimately, whatever we know, is according to the perception of another individual who had loved and cared for us, interacted with us, and taught us at one point in time or another. The only downside is that we grew up with our minds being programmed precisely how we were taught, including the self-limiting, self-defeating or self-sabotaging perceptions. We acquire all the fears and weaknesses that we have picked up or learned through our elders, teachers and those who came before us. In addition to that, their lessons, disappointments, failures and their experience of not knowing better in life. This, in turn, could result in generations after generations living with a similar blueprint of perceptions and beliefs in navigating through lives, choices and decisions.
Thus, the necessity of applying NLP principles to the way we perceive and believe is very beneficial to achieve more fulfilling lives. This will help us to deal with the challenges, hurdles, troubles and failures we may have to face in our lives. It will allow us to understand our perceptions and perspectives and face life head-on with more courage and confidence as individuals with a unique identity.
NLP re-programs and re-calibrates our minds to further develop hindsight, insight, and foresight to positively approach our lives and problems. We will be able to remain happy and fulfilled, whether or not things turn out the way we had wanted or expected.
NLP is not about laws, governing rules or regulations that have to be followed. NLP is simply an unbiased and uncompelling set of beliefs that we can choose to practice in our lives to reach our full potential. NLP focuses on the most effective means through which any goal or desired outcome can be attained.
NLP operates from one or more of a set of presuppositions that massively empowers people to facilitate change in an endless number of ways. Practicing NLP teaches us to evaluate and make changes where necessary. This will, in turn, empower us to be the best that we can be and create an overall impact on our own lives and relationships.
When I say I am sensitive to energy or work with life and energy is my first language, people get scared. I think they must be wondering what kind of spooky magic I possess and work with. So, let me explain what energy means in my very own dictionary in a way that could be easily understood by others.
Science interprets energy as something that makes a change. Energy is power. It moves cars along the road and boats over the water. It bakes a cake in the oven and keeps ice frozen in the freezer. It plays our favorite songs on the radio and lights our homes. Energy makes our bodies grow and allows our minds to think. We cannot see energy, but we know that it is there. Scientists define energy as the ability to do work. People have learned how to change energy from one form to another to work more efficiently and live more comfortably.
Then, various forms of energy, such as light, heat, sound, and motion. Electrical, thermal, radiant, movement, sound, chemical, elastic, and nuclear are various energies. We also know that these different energy forms can all be put into two categories: kinetic and potential. Therefore that is the summary of energy (or power) that we learned in school through theories and practices. What about the energy that we don’t know or understand in school?
As someone susceptible to sensitivity, energy is the process of transforming information and data that we receive with our senses and our being. These senses are the visual (sight), auditory (hearing), kinesthetic (physical), olfactory (smell), and gustatory (taste) which most of us are blessed with and we use these forms of energy every day in our process of life. Our beings would be the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of us. One more sense that not many of us have realized is the sixth sense. This is the form of processing and transforming that makes Highly Sensitive People or HSPs use the rest of the other five senses with the mental, emotional or spiritual part of their being. This is done in the most unique and comprehensive way than ordinary people could have thought of or perceived.
For example, we could have seen an object, transmission of information or behaviors presented by someone else as a symbol of love. In contrast, someone highly-sensitive will not just use their visual sense to process this love symbol. They will also be using their auditory, kinesthetic (with the olfactory and gustatory, if needed) senses together with the mental, emotional, and spiritual part of their being to do the processing. So what HSPs see about that symbol of love is more than what other people would notice. In this case, HSPs would see it as a symbol of love with passion and lust. When HSPs see it, they see it more prominent and more apparent than others do. They listen and decipher more than others could. They empathize and express more than others would. So basically, HSPs have a very shallow threshold or resistance of their senses than others.
Some HSPs can switch the processing method around between these senses and their being. Meaning, they could use their visual acuity on information that requires them to use their auditory sense. They could also use their kinesthetic sense on situations or data that requires processing with their visual understanding. They just know instinctively which reason to apply to the processing of a particular object, situation or information for whatever purpose. If the need arises, they will use the processing with the mental, emotional, and spiritual sense. These different phases and ways of processing the information or data and transforming them into knowledge brought about into the HSPs’ physical and conscious awareness are what I term as energy.
I believe that every one of us is born with a sixth sense. This is also the sense that triggers the use of intuition and gut instinct. It is a matter of being able to tap into this sixth sense and switch around the processing energy between the other five senses and the mental, emotional, and spiritual part of our being. I see this proficiency as the ability to balance life (again, energy meaning the way of processing and transforming between the object of information or data with our senses and our being). Becoming and being able to be at this place of balance is the act of raising and remaining in high vibrational energy.
So I hope that explains it all to those who are curious and find me so mysterious.
Meanwhile, hold that space and be in awe of the Greatness of God.