If you are not willing to be the first person who believes in you, then who will? When there is no self-confidence, you can cause a lot of harm in your own life. Learning to take small steps to work towards this effectively will allow you to take more steps calmly and consciously when life demands.
Below are simple, self-reliant steps you can take to maintain your confidence to progress and reach your potential and live your best version in life.
1. When you are called to, be brave and take that leap.
Do not hesitate to put yourself out there and let life touch or teach you. Be curious and creative; enjoy learning and living; explore and experience. Take risks, make decisions or mistakes and own them.
There is no denying that life hurts sometimes. A big no-no is to let the fear of making a wrong decision prevent you from making any decisions at all. Just make your best efforts and do the right thing even if you are unsure what is correct. Life is living, experiencing and learning. So live, laugh and love.
There are too many possibilities to consider and unique places to go in these modern times compared to what our ancestors enjoyed in the past. Even then, people of the past were constantly discovering and growing. Creating or selling your range of products and services, building your clientele and networking for collaboration is no longer as big a challenge as it used to be.
Why are you then only wondering and dreaming? Get out there and find your new adventure! Let life decide where to take you and cherish every little bit of every moment of your experience.
2. Stop seeking approval from everyone
You don’t have to take an interest in pleasing everyone you meet. Not everyone will agree with you all the time. Have the courage to make your own decisions and do what is right for you as long as you do not compromise the benefits of others or cause anyone any harm.
Never let the opinions of other people define who you are. You are the best judge of your personality, ability and capabilities. Take the responsibility of owning yourself and reflect honestly on who you are and what you can or cannot do. If there is a need to get an opinion or advice, seek it from those who believe in you and genuinely care for you. Alternatively, you can also seek those who are honest, knowledgeable and well-versed in the relevant issue or topic of discussion.
When you make an effort to take the proper course of action, you will do what you want to do with confidence. Be assured that you have made an effort to give thorough consideration to your options and made informed choices. Have faith in the choices you make from your own best judgment. Trust that those who matter to you and those whom you trust are with you.
3. Stop insisting that you are always right.
When you make or take a stand, do it because you are coming from a place of your truth and that you are not afraid to be wrong. Never make or take a stand because you need to or have to be right.
Insisting that other people should know or admit that you are right (despite you being wrong), is the act of coming from a place of ego or even being narcissistic. In all honesty, such behavior demonstrates bullies who want to control people’s opinions of them.
When you know what is right, you will be mentally and emotionally conscious of seeing that it is of utmost importance to find out the truth of what is right rather than being right.
If you ultimately realize that you are wrong, you will be secure within yourself to humbly back down and be gracious in admitting your mistake or wrongful conduct. Keep yourself grounded in reality and be gracious enough to acknowledge and appreciate the lessons you learned from your wrong choices and mistakes.
4. Do not confuse the definition of success and failure.
Never allow failure to hinder you; never let your success access your head even though the difference between success and failure is indeed remarkable. However, you need to practice looking at the bigger picture and understand the depth beneath the surface of these two common words.
Understanding these two words determines the moral standards, principles, and values you instill in yourself and the people who seek to follow you in life. If you are arrogant because you are successful, you indeed are within the category of those who failed. However, if you continue to persevere with integrity while becoming more grateful, determined and strong, you are indeed a winner. All who develop and evolve through overcoming or conquering challenges are successful, hands down.
Never take everything that goes wrong personally and never internalize the negativity from external sources. However, do not also get big-headed when things are in your favor. In truth, life is always about personal growth and self-discovery. It is about you continuously becoming the better and best version of yourself. While it is necessary to have money, strive towards financial security, and leave a legacy for those we love, true and ultimate success is never entirely about wealth or fame.
5. Avoid needless or unnecessary drama.
Direct your energy toward positive ideas and possibilities and spend each day focusing on achieving your personal goals. Learn to be amused more than you are at being annoyed. Learn to be curious more than you are at being angry. Learn to admire more than you are at being envious.
You may have heard of or come across people who love to stir up drama for no valid or apparent reason. Take note of such people and situations. Never, ever get yourself involved in it. It is always best to stay out of other people’s drama unless compassion is pertinent in cases where assistance or intervention is needed due to anticipation of potential harm or danger. Always be conscious and reflective of your behavior and the people around you. Observe the circumstances in your environment so that you do not end up creating or getting caught in drama at any cost.
Be grateful and appreciate the value of those you love and those who matter. Turn your back on any drama you may potentially create through your lack of self-awareness or through others.
6. Explain and clarify when necessary.
There is a need to raise our voices before we can get attention in order to address issues or problems. So if you have sleepless nights due to being misunderstood or ongoing trauma, give yourself enough love by expressing or explaining what is important for you. Do this not because you need people on your side or you need people to sympathize with you. Do it because you deserve the right to stand up and speak up for yourself, and even more importantly, is that you deserve peace mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
However, talking excessively and constantly is a different thing altogether. It is a habit of those who mask insecurities and seek validation from people externally. A positive way of expressing your insecurities and grievances can be journaled or expressed through creative writing like poetry, essays etc. Confident people are usually silent and thoughtful. They listen as much, if not more than they speak.
When you are confident, you already know what you think, but you also have a curious mind to know what others think. You don’t talk all the time, but you ask people questions because you already know what you know. However, you also know that you do not know everything, and the only way to learn more is to listen even more.
7. Stop feeling attacked.
Do not engage in the mentality of thinking that everything is about you and other people are always out to get you. Many people feel they have to wait until they are good enough to be hired or chosen. Such thinking, however, is not valid. Confident people know that they can and will do anything they set their minds to, especially in the current digital age where information, knowledge, and resources are always accessible and available online. How will you know where you are headed if you do not make that first step?
Stop asking yourself, “Why me?” and start asking, “Why not me?”. If you are confident and positively inclined, you will see the door of opportunity right in front of you to further your knowledge and develop your skills. Perhaps even advancement in your career path, or spiritual enlightenment of your mind, body and soul.